None!

None a hole is empty

Kangeroo Vase.

Rockoon, Froog, Snabbit, Ping - Pong,  Red Panda, Gorilla.

Giraffe, Woodpecker, Barn Owl, Long Eared Owl, King Parrot, Magpie, Pair of Magpies, Jackdaw, Zebra, Crane, Toad, Blue Jay, Kingfisher, Seal, King Penguim, Puffin, Walrus, Platypus, Otter, Sea Lion, Ferret, Meteorat, Rockoon, Froog, Snabbit, Ping - Pong, Llama, Chickadee, Prairie Dog, Aardvark, Anteater, Tiger, Gazelle, Leopard, Oriole, Bandicoot, Sugar Glider, Wombat, Hippo, Kangeroo, Wallaby, Koala, Taz, Panda, Red Panda, Gorilla.

A very pretty young speech therapist was getting nowhere with her Stammerers Action group. She had tried every technique in the book without the slightest success.
Finally, thoroughly exasperated, she said "If any of you can tell me the name of the town where you were born, without stuttering, I will have wild and passionate sex with you until your muscles ache and your eyes water. So, who wants to go first?”
The Englishman piped up. "B-b-b-b-b-b-b-irmingham", he said.
"That's no use, Trevor" said the speech therapist, "Who is next?”
The Scotsman raised his hand and blurted out "P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-aisley".
That's no better. There'll be no sex for you, I'm afraid, Hamish.
How about you, Paddy?
The Irishman took a deep breath and eventually blurted out " London ".
Brilliant, Paddy! said the speech therapist and immediately set about living up to her promise.
After 15 minutes of exceptionally steamy sex, the couple paused for breath and Paddy said "-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-erry".

Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.   Looking up to heaven he said, 'Lord take pity on me.   If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!'

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

Paddy looked up again and said, 'Never mind, I found one.

Subject:  Fred
Fred came home drunk, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.
He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where
St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Fred.'
'I'm dead? No, I can't be!  Send me back!'
St. Peter said, there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.' Fred  begged
St. Peter tosend him to a farm near his home.
A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen,   huh? How's your first day here?'
'Not bad,', 'but I have this strange feeling inside.
Like I'm gonna explode!' 'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. 'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?' 'Never,' said Fred. 'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no
big deal.' He did, and a few seconds later, out
popped an egg! He was overcome with emotion
as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid
another egg --
As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a
smack on the back of his head, and heard.....
"Fred, wake up! You sh*t the bed!"

Getting OLD just ain't what they said it would be!

Martha recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home.
Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the patio table.
Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him....
"You know that dishwasher you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money!"
She paused for a minute tracing her fingers in the ashes then said,
"Remember that car you promised me? Well, I also bought it with the insurance money!"
Again, she paused for a few minutes and while tracing her fingers in the ashes she said, "Remember that diamond ring you promised me?
Bought it too, with the insurance money!"
Finally, still tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, "Remember that blow job I promised you?"
"Well, here it comes."

The newlyweds are in their honeymoon room and the groom decides to let the bride know where she stands right from the start of the marriage.
He proceeds to take off his trousers and throw them at her. He says, "Put those on."
The bride replies, "I can't wear your trousers."
He replies, "And don't forget that! I will always wear the pants in the family!"
The bride takes off her knickers and throws them at him with the same request, "Try those on!"
He replies,"I can't get into your knickers!"
"And you never bloody will if you don't change your attitude."

Irish Birth Control
Mrs. Donovan was walking  down O'Connell Street when  she met up with Father Flaherty.
The  Father said, 'Top o' the mornin'  To  ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan  And  didn't I marry ye and yer  Hoosband  two years ago?'  She  replied, 'Aye, that ye did, Father.'
The  Father asked, 'And be there  Any  wee little ones yet?' She  replied, 'No, not yet, Father.'
The  Father said, 'Well now, I'm  going to Rome next week  And  I'll light a fertility candle for ye And yer hoosband.'  She  replied, 'Oh, thank ye, Father...'
Some  years later they met again.  The  Father asked, 'Well now,  Mrs.  Donovan, how are ye these days?'  She  replied, 'Oh, very well, Father!'  The  Father asked, 'And tell me ,  Have ye any wee ones yet?'
She  replied, 'Oh yes, Father!  Two  sets of twins and six singles,  Ten  in all!'
The  Father said, 'That's wonderful!  And how is yer loving hoosband doing?'

She  replied, 'E's gone to Rome  to blow out yer f----n' candle.'